Two for the price of one

So sorry no blog yesterday.  I promised myself when I started this thing, that life would never get in the way of it.  But, it did yesterday as I had a pretty busy day.
So today I give you a double dose as I focus on two subjects: where I want my future career to go, and being a new Daddy.
We had a dinner guest last night and we got into a long discussion of what exactly I wanted to do with the rest of my life.  Not what I job I was GOING to do, but I WANTED to do.  I guess if given the choice, I would want to work at more than one job.  I would want to return to the stage and resume my short-lived stand-up comedy career.  I always loved writing the material, and even on my worst nights, with no crowd reaction, atleast I got the material out there.  I would want to write for some kind of satirical/improv/comedy show, whether it be Daily Central, Saturday Night Live or the like.  Everybody keeps telling me I have some kind of "natural humor," and insight, and that I need to share it with the world....Finally, in a perfect world I would work for the WWE.  No, I would not be a wrestler (at 5'4" I am kind of challenged), but I would work as either an announcer or preferably, a staff writer.  It has been a lifelong love for me, and I know I could do it.  But only God knows if any of these dreams will come to fruition.
On our other topic, in two months I will be a Daddy again.  I have kind of not focused on this much over the last few months because, honestly, I have been distracted.  But I am very excited!  I truly DO look forward to changing the diapers, late-night feedings, watching him say his first words, take his first steps.  I was fortunate enough to hear Jeremy say his first words ("Daddy"), but missed when he started to get mobile.
Baby J will be brought up in a house with TWO parents, in a house filled with love and honesty, and fun.  He will get to share our awesome love of God, and have two parents who adore him, an older brother who will guide him, and a Bishon who who he will eventually outgrow and outlive.  With all the bitching and moaning I do, this part of my life is good.  And best of all, with my life being a "sitcom," this sets the stage for a sequel.  Have a great all--see you tomorrow (I promise.)

Rainy Days and Tuesdays always get you down...

Some random neurotic thoughts from cold, rainy NYC.
Rainy days make me feel more depressed than most days.  Is that true for everyone?
Life has gotten a bit depressing around here.  We are dealing with an apartment that looks like a hurricane hit it, a future loss in employment, Jordan not sleeping well...
I work all day, at two jobs (for now).  I have no time to clean, and get our Mt. Everest pile of laundry done.  Jordan--she's VERRRY pregnant now, so she aint doing nuthin but sleeping, eating, and sleeping some more.  I have a slight case of OCD so coming to a mess drives me bonkers...
I'm losing my job in December and frankly, I'm pretty worried...A new baby coming and no bacon for the frying pan...
Jordan can't sleep...the baby inside her is growing at a steroid-induced pace, so she either feels like she's "crushing the baby," or she needs about 8 pillows to wrap her body around.  When she doesn't sleep, neither do I.  Lack of sleep can tend to make you a bit moody.  (Me? Moody?)
So, my theme of the day is...count your blessings.  Life could be worse.  And try to stop bitching about everything.  Atleast Jo and I have each other...("I got you Babe...")
Now, where where are my shoes...maybe under that 3-ft pile of underwear over there...

PC=Pretty Crappy

My wife Jordan once had a PC.  The hard drive died and it still sits in our closet, endlessly holding onto information that may never be regained when it died its sudden death.
My wife Jordan has a newer PC.  Last week it got invested with spyware, and we watched, glared, like viewing a train wreck, as the viruses slowly invested her computer right before our eyes.
We bought an anti-spyware program, and it seemed to fix the problem.  But little did we know, all of that junk that got into her digital baby's brain had done some more serious damage. It was on a ticking clock and we weren't even aware.
This morning, for some reason, I turned on her computer to check something while I lay in bed, and the screen froze, so I rebooted it.
Now the PC just "tries to reboot normally," but goes to a blank screen. Just a mess of gray, with a poor lonely mouse floating over it.  Poor Jo.  Two computers, two 5-pounds pieces of unattainable information sitting on them.
THNAK GOD I have my Mac.  Right now, my Mac is laughing at his sister PC, and saying "Naah, Naah, I can't get sick like you...."
Reason number 21876 why I will never buy a PC again.

What I love

Some people love only one thing in their life.  Maybe it is a great sunset; maybe it is a song they adore; maybe it is a 500-calorie burger from the local fast food joint.

I have many loves.  I LOVE my wife Jordan.  I LOVE my son Jeremy.  I LOVE my dog Misha.

Then there are the ODD things I love.  I LOVE pro wrestling.  It is the ultimate male soap-opera, and I can watch any show, anytime.  (We will discuss the merits of its reality another time.)

I LOVE cheesy 1970's music.  The worse sappy lyrics, the better...An example?  I just got done singing "She's having My Baby" to Jordan.  Maybe tomorrow it will be "Muskrat Love."

I LOVE the feeling of having a really bad itch, and being able to scratch it.

I LOVE a good political argument, especially when the other person is wrong.

I LOVE making fun of the Pittsburgh Pirates. (EASY target).

I LOVE the feeling of a good pee in the morning.

I LOVE a cartoon in the daily paper called "Mutts." (The puppy has a lisp like me.)

Most of all, I LOVE LIFE.  The bad, the good, and everything in-between.  I LOVE knowing that EVERY SINGLE week, something so funny, so ironic will DEFINITELY happen to me.  It's the unpredictability folks...

And finally, I LOVE writing this blog.

See ya tomorrow kids.

Lazy Saturday and the definition of downtime

Just another lazy Saturday...hanging around the house...Jordan in in "Joisey" this weekend, so it's just a "Boy's Weekend" with me, Jeremy and our roommate Brandon..  Our HUGE plans include the Cub Scout fundraiser we had this morning, getting a few groceries, and more hanging out.
Sometimes a body needs rest and downtime.  Lord knows I don't ever get enough of the latter.  Downtime finally comes to my doorstep when Jeremy falls alseep, Jordan is pre-occupied with something, then it is all about me.  It comes late, and seldom, but atleast I get it.
Doh!  Headed out with Jer to do the Daddy-son park thing...Looking into his smiling face, maybe downtime isn't actually so important after all...

A BETTER chip off the old block

I am so proud of my son Jeremy.  He started in a new school this year, a school which is more restrictive, more disciplined and has higher expectations thatn his old one from last year.  Last year, he was surrounded by punks, kids who taught him as-of-then unused curse words, and were generally bad influences.  This year he is surrounded by "all-stars."
I was worried.  Would all the bad habits he picked up carry over to the new school and doom him before he could get started?
He has EXCELLED.  He has opportunities he didn't have in the old school (Music Class, Computer Lab), and has run with it like a SUPERSTAR.  Tonight he did his homework without me having to help him for a second.  Last year I would have to argue with him to get him to read for 10 minutes.  (in preparation for the Standardized 3rd grade State testing this year.)  Now he reads for 20-30 minutes without debate.
I admit, I was a crappy student.  I just didn't care.  He is showing that he can be a ROCK STAR, and he is making me very very proud, to the point when I almost cry when supervising his nightly homework time.
Okay, I'm a big mushy proud daddy...and my kid is going to be a success.  Somewhere along the line, I must have done something right.
This is a good omen for boy #2.
I love you Jeremy...you "little Einstein" you.  MOOOWHAAAH!

Pizza: my new enemy

So last night Jo and I scraped up a few dollars to spoil ourselves with some pizza.  There is a place in our neighborhood that makes the absolute BEST NY-style pizza...It was tremendous, so I ate 1-2-3-4-5 pieces!  (All my waistline needs huh?)
Everything was great until I went to bed.  I woke a couple of hours later with my usual acid reflux-heartburn-nausea like symptoms I get on occasion.  Now other people get "A.R.." but when I get it, it turms into a world of HELL. My symptoms affect my asthma for some reason, so I woke up last night wheezing, with chest pains, reaching for my inhaler....What a nightmare!
This morning I am suffering from nausea, diarhea, and major body aches.  Oy vey!  Pizza, thine is my enemy.  (someone please pass the Tums...)

Looking for the Road Signs

So, I'm at a crossroads....I am looking for the road signs to tell me which drection o go in next.  Do I stay in Sales?  Do I pursue a job in writing?  At this point, with a good severance package coming, I am about ready to sit on my butt and do nothing.  What do I really WANT to do?  In a perfect world, I would stay at home with the new baby, and write this blog everyday.  Or I would just be working on a novel.  Or just writing--something-anything-everything.  In a pefect world, someone from Hollywood will discover this blog and offer to turn it into a screenplay, or a SITCOM.  How about that:  My Life as a Sitcom--The Sitcom.  (I think Paul Giamatti should play me...or Bruce Willis..) Whoever plays me should definitely have more hair.  Just not Justin Bieber hair.

No rest for the Weary

I never get to sleep in.  Period.  (or rest).  I wake up every morning at 7am to do my first job, work until noon, head to my second job, come home by 6pm, and then finish my work for my first job.  Once I finish that, I cook dinner for Jordan or myself (or both), look for a new job online, and then MAYBE relax for a bit playing some backgammon before I finally collapse in bed unconscious.
Not that I am complaining mind you--I am an energy junkie--I thrive on being able to go-go-go, then passing out.
But as I get older I find myself having less go-go-go and more "I'm tired-I'm tired-I'm tired..."
Oh, to be 25 again....

What will Baby J look like?

Jordan and I were wondering this morning what Baby J will look like...Will be be bald?  Will he have lots of hair?  I was thinking, in a perfect world, since his Daddy has been balding for years he should be born with this HUGE mop of hair, some of of it hanging in his eyes, ala Flock of Seagulls, maybe even a Justin Bieber hairstyle right out of the womb.  Okay, on second thought, maybe the bald look IS better.

"Will write for Food."

I am at a crossroads...I have done "sales" or related fields for atleast ten years now.  My original choice of careers was in Writing.  I wanted to either be the next "great American Novelist," or just have fun, writing for Improv, SNL or the movies....Life took me on a different turn, as I did what I needed to do to pay the bills.  (How many of us have also chosen our careers out of NECESSITY rather than what we really wanted to do?)
So, now, with my current job set to be eliminated, I can virtually choose what I want to do now, and which path I want to follow. (within reason--I still have bills, you know.)
Going back, doing standup again has crossed my mind, but that just might not pay enough!
Maybe this blog will be the first step in making my way back to my first love, writing.
Of course, I could always just stand on the side of the road with a sign, "Will write for Food."

Happy Birthday to my Love

In this crazy crazy life of mine, atleast one thing remains constant: the fact that I am truly lucky, doubly-blessed, by getting to share it with one of the incredible women/people I have ever met.  Through good times and bad, she is always there for me.  She lights up the world with her smile and her laugh, and turns every gray sky blue. (Gosh--I am starting to sound like a 1970's record...)
Thank you Jordan, for putting up with my moods, cynicism, temper tantrums, and bad jokes.  And that says a lot.  Happy Birthday baby--I love you.

A pain in the neck (again)

Two years ago I had spinal fusion surgery.  In layman's terms, I had two discs removed (#2, #3) with the doc slicing open my throat, taking them out, and replacing them with two fake ones and a piece of titanium...Are you cringing yet?
Last year he told me "all was well," and everything had fused and I was looking good.  Confusious say: "never speak too soon."  Over the last month or so, I have been having that oh-so-missed feeling of numbness in my arms and hands again, and occasional pain in my back.
Yesterday I went to turn my head to the right...and CRACK!  Now I am in constant pain, and sitting in the doc's office for an emergency evaluation....
Hmm....found out I was losing my job yesterday, I may need another surgery, life just keeps getting better and better...Hope Baby J is ready to meet his stressed-out Daddy in a couple of months.
As Rodney Dangerfield used to say: "I woke up this morning, turned off my alarm clock, and it broke.  I buttoned my shirt and a button popped off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom!"

The call I never wanted to receive

I got a call from my boss today...I had a feeling it was bad news.  My company is eliminating my position...They kept telling me it wasn't "personal," it was a "business decision."  (Don't they always say that?)
Jordan was crying and screaming in the background, as they gave me the news.  Atleast they will be giving me a decent severance package: paying my salary through the end of the year, covering my health benefits as well...I am also eligible for full unemployment benefits along with my severance in December.
I gave this company three good years, and they gave me a conference call and a bunch of regrets.
Thoughts and prayers everyone, thoughts and prayers.

I am a slave to Backgammon

I have recently rediscovered Backgammon.  My father taught me the game as a kid, and I instantly took to it.  I started beating him handily, and then went on to play in a few amateur tournaments.  Over the years, I fell away from the game as my previous wives, unfortunately, didn't have the mental capacity or patience to play...
Now, you should know I am a Facebook addict. (another topic, another time). I have rediscovered my love of Backgammon on FB.  I can play anytime, anywhere I have a computer, and my current winning percentage is at about 47 percent.  (I won't be happy until it gets over 60!)  I could play for 11 hours straight--Jordan says I play too much!
But if I ever get stranded on a desert island, one of the things I want with me is a Backgammon board (hey, I can play against the monkeys!)..YES--all I need is a board...and some pop tarts...and a dvd player with some pro wrestling dvds....and maybe a few sodas....

The Pirates--always expect the worst

I went to the Pirates-Mets game here in New York.  It is much easier attending Pirates games these days, as we true fans have absolutely no expectations.  In fact, if we have any at all, we expect them to lose.  Tonight was no exception, and par the course, the Bucs lost again, for the 97th time this season.  The sad part is I actually got my hopes up when they were leading 5-0 in the fourth inning, but then they gave up 7 runs in the bottom half of the same inning.
Fortunately they were playing the Mets, whose run support of their pitchers is almost as bad as the Pirates.  The Mets would give up a couple more, but still go on to win 8-7.
What can I say anymore after 18 straight losing seasons?  I can only hope that either someone else buys them, or we play a few Little League teams next season.  WAIT--the LL teams are better than us...my bad.

Will they ever win?

I am going to see my hometown Pittsburgh Pirates tonight against the Mets here in New York.  It's not that I don't love the Bucs, but they have lost for 18 straight seasons.  18!!!! Atleast they are consistent huh?  I will go, wear my favorite Bucs tee (a display of all the years of losing records given by Burgh friend Eric), and take some abuse from the Mets fans, whose team is not much better.  But atleast I get to go to an actual baseball game, something I haven't done in about four years.  (The teams have priced me out of the market).  Tomorrow I will fill you in what exactly happened--or in the Pirates' case, didn't happen.

and baby makes (five?)

So most of you know that Jordan is having our first child together in November.  That would make five of us in our family--Jordan, me, Jeremy, Misha, and Baby _________ (name to be revealed later.)  I will tell you this much--The baby has a 'J' name...that will add to the consistency of our monikers: Jim, Jordan, Jeremy and 'J.'  Maybe we should change our dog's name to Jisha...
It's getting crowded around here, Lucy!

How my Voting Experience went Today

What a mess! I go to vote this morning, and first, no one there speaks English. They look at my license, and ask (barely) “Is this your last name?” Then they look me up in the book, point to someone with the same last name, (but a different first one) and said “we found you!” After I corrected them, I finally get to vote but the machine doesn’t take it…Apparently, the old man at the table ripped off too much of the ballot when he gave it to me, making it invalid. So I had to revote! WHO trained these people–and will I have to push ’1′ for English when I vote again in November?

Jordan is Rip Van Winkle

In the first stages of Jordan's pregnancy, she was sick.  A lot. She just didn't just "worship the porcelain God," she lived in his kingdom.  The next three months after that were nice.  No echoes of vomiting throughout the house, no moaning of constant ailings.  Now she just sleeps a lot.  She goes to bed, wakes up, goes back to sleep, wakes up, eats, goes back to sleep, eats, and snoozes some more.  Not that I'm complaining...she looks like an angel when she is napping.  But as I always tell her--enjoy it now because in two months she'll change from Rip Van Winkle to a 7-11....Yeah, she'll be working all night long.

Misha gets stuck

Apparently, Bishon Frises are very smart.  We went out one night, and said goodbye to Misha.  When we returned she was nowhere to be found.  We looked in all her usual haunts--under dressers, in her bed...she was simply not there,  Jeremy panicked.  He cried and screamed,  We called 911.  The police came,  Suddenly, we heard a whimper....Was that Misha?  Our furry princess has a new talent.  She can open the lower kitchen cabinets with one paw and climb in (presumably to get to the garbage can).  One problem: she can't get back out.  Apparently doggie IQs can only go so far.